This is the second time (and I am sure not the last) I have blogged about boundaries. But I am sure you too have found yourself in a particularly difficult situation and a few people around you seem determined to make it nearly impossible to truly retain your own boundaries? I just lived through a truly selfless, exhausting, trying time that brought out the very best or the very worst in those around me. As I sit here reflecting, this precious opportunity to grow has shown me the magnificence of having strong healthy boundaries and living with authentic integrity, and deep abiding love.
IAs mentioned in a previous blog, I grew up without personal boundaries. I did not even know the definition of the word other than countries on a map. Lacking boundaries, my life was a perpetual state of drama. When I did some they looked and felt more like prison walls than boundaries. They keep others out and me in. Other times it was more like barbed wire. It kept others out but pierced my heart.
Thanks to the book: Boundaires: How to Say Yes and When to Say No by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. I read it and did all the assignments. I learned to set healthy sensual circle. When I started setting boundaries some of my family and friends did not particularly care for the process. They were used to me doing things because the responses I received went something like this: “well you always do that;” “what do you mean no?” and “I mean really!”; “you have to;” “I am counting on you!”.
As I began my journey, I first realized I no longer required steel enforced concrete to protect me. Then I made truly stepped into speaking my truth and letting my yes be yes and my no be no. To be completely transparent, as I continue to grow and become more and more myself, I am still learning. This was one of those times when I really had to reexamine my personal boundaries. I journaled and truly examined the triggers. I am grateful for the experience and for the healthy lines that are living breathing parts of me.
I hear some of you saying well that is easy for you! I cannot change that much at my age! I am sixty-one (61) years old and if I can learn and relearn this so can you! So no excuses. Isn’t it truly time to live your truth?
These are a few of the things I work with my clients on and offer you amazing tools for your tool chest:
How Set and Keep Strong Resilient Healthy Boundaries
- Ask yourself come really tough questions? What are your boundaries? What do you say yes to that you truly want to say no to (or the other way around!) What do you really require in your life? What do you truly want? When was the last time you really said yes because you truly wanted to?
- Get the book, read it, do the assignments
- Write down what you truly do want
- Take the time you are so worth it!
- Any questions? Contact me!
I think of my personal boundaries are sacred space. I say who when why what. This is true freedom, as a woman of profound faith, a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, an entrepreneur, a nurse practitioner, as me.
If there is anyway I may help you on your journey, please let me know!
I would love to hear about your personal boundaries: how they work, or do not, any hiccups, and especially your victories as you live your life!!!
Yours in so much beauty and grace,